Symptoms:
This relatively new condition becomes more prevalent with each new social media tool that is launched. The most common symptoms include:

• Self-inflicted bald patches (with hair found under the fingernails)
• Nail and lip biting
• Nervous twitches and foot jiggling
• Uncontrolled, easily triggered crying
• Broken keyboards, smashed mice, and splintered screens
• An intense, irrational desire to abandon a smartphone for an old-fashioned flip phone

In the most severe cases, we see:

• Rocking, repetitive palm-to-forehead motions, and violent outbursts
• Manic talking punctuated with “hashtags,” accompanied by erratic two-fingered hand signals

We see DMIC most commonly in people who don’t spend much time on social media, but receive the assignment to manage it for their company. It also frequently manifests in people who set up an account six and a half years ago, but have forgotten their password and never logged in again.

DMIC can also flare up when someone becomes overly ambitious and excited about social media’s potential to grow their business, causing them to quickly engage in multiple platforms (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, YouTube, etc.) at once in an attempt to speed up results.

Treatment:
The best way to overcome DMIC is to start slowly and seek professional help. We recommend clients start offline with a written strategy and plan based on concrete business goals, objectives, and key performance indicators. This first step will help the person feel in control and reduce their anxiety.

Secondly, we help the client develop a strategy to measure progress through analytics data.

Once the client has become calm enough to rationally learn the “how to” of digital engagement, we develop a training schedule that tackles one platform at a time, only adding more platforms when the patient begins to experience success. However, we caution our clients to not expect results overnight. When starting from scratch or revitalizing a stagnant digital presence, we generally estimate it takes six to nine months to see full recovery and achieve a positive ROI.

If you think you are experiencing a GMD…

More than anything, remember: You are not alone. New Boston can help. Please contact us ASAP, and we’ll meet to confirm your diagnosis and develop a plan to get you quickly on the path to recovery.

Learn about Infantile Video Psychosis (IVP) 

Of course, real mental illness isn’t funny. This article is a parody.