Maike Torrez

Ms. Torrez is a well-rounded talent with a variety of interests. She has been crowned champion of table tennis tournaments, excels at typography and is quite the motorcyclist.

Clients and coworkers appreciate her strong attention to detail and friendly nature. Her dogs also benefit from these traits as she tucks them gently into bed each night.

Once while going through customs in a U.S. airport, she chose an unfortunate moment to adjust her glasses — right as the machine took her photo. This led to an uncomfortable conversation with the customs officer about why she was giving him the middle finger.

Ms. Torrez is actually an incredibly famous rock star whom we don’t recognize due to extreme makeup artistry, or so her ideal backstory would go.

Bonus random fact!

Laverne or Shirley: I don’t know what that’s about.

Bert or Ernie: Ernie. He’s cooler than Bert. Bert has a unibrow...

What She Is NOT: The master of organization. Runner of marathons. Picky about food (as long as it tastes good!). Scared to pick up a spider and move him outside. A fan of having her blood drawn. A frequent blood donor. A passionate sports fan. A recipe follower. Always on time. A Nobel Prize winner. Able to leave the house without checking multiple times that the garage door is, in fact, shut.

What She IS: Able to spit cherry pits incredible distances. Empathetic. An experienced crier. A “badass biker chick.” An overprotective dog mom. Asleep on the couch by 9 p.m. Unfriendly towards those who wake her up from said couch. A former table tennis champion. Scared of breaking a bone. Funny (if she may say so herself). A collector of “pug mugs.” Annoyed by noisy eaters.

Choice Movie Quote: “I carried a watermelon.” – Dirty Dancing

Dogs or Cats: Dogs. Dogs are the greatest.

Rock, Paper, or Scissors: Paper, because paper can wrap around the rock and cover up the well....is that not a thing in America?

Favored Menu: Mett (bread topped with raw bratwurst meat and onions)

TV Habits: Big Bang Theory, King of Queens, Unser Lautes Heim (the German version of Growing Pains)

Fantasy Vacation: Another trip to Hawaii. Or the Bahamas! Or the Maldives! There’s a pattern here...