Infantile Video Psychosis has been a rare but real condition since the development of broadcast media, and has become more prevalent since YouTube has allowed older videos to be viewed at the touch of a keyboard. Symptoms develop over time, and can take decades to fully manifest. We suspect IVP when the patient is a young adult who was featured in TV commercials as a child, often for a family business. The following are symptoms of IVP:
- Uncontrollable eye-rolling
- Excessive blushing or sweating (notably when TV is mentioned)
- Avoidance of television, particularly in the presence of others
- Habitual channel-switching to avoid commercials
- Excessive preoccupation with Mary Kate and Ashley Olson
- Disinterest in joining the family business as an adult
- Inter-generational disagreements that escalate into full-on family feuds
We commonly see IVP in young adults whose parents or grandparents put them in TV commercials when they were children (typically before adolescence). Hubris inspires these adults to cast their offspring in their commercials, for no purpose other than to be adorable. Children enjoy the limelight at the time of filming, but as they mature, their attitude shifts to complete humiliation. These young adults feel exploited because of their former cuteness, and can develop severe problems with self-esteem and body image.
Honest apologies from older family members can be especially helpful when beginning treatment. Remove all old videos from YouTube, social media, and company websites. New Boston will replace them with modern commercials geared toward your target audience, avoiding all casting of children. Recovery is generally swift once all evidence of old videos is removed. To overcome lingering inter-generational conflicts, we suggest hug therapy, avoidance of media at family gatherings and holidays, and, in extreme situations, cross-country relocation. Avoid watching Full House at all costs.
If you think you are experiencing a GMD…
More than anything, remember: You are not alone. New Boston can help. Please contact us ASAP, and we’ll meet to confirm your diagnosis and develop a plan to get you quickly on the path to recovery.
Of course, real mental illness isn’t funny. This article is a parody.